My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me, so won't you kill me so I die happy

this is 100% true. thanks.

...a little note from erin before you read on...the minimum should be 20%..and if you can't afford it, you shouldn't be eating out...

The next time you're out eating at a restaurant, look at your server. Do you think they are really happy to be doing that job? The answer is no, they are not, but it's what we do, and we do it for the money so please help them out. Its a tougher job than you think and you should hook it up accordingly!

There are SO many people out there flooding the restaurants w/o any knowledge of how to tip. Here is a short guide for the general public to follow. Feel free to print out and store in your wallet and/or purse. :)

Before we get started, let's discuss what T.I.P.S. means. Back in the day T.I.P.S. meant "To Insure Prompt Service." A restaurant patron actually paid their tip before eating to make sure that they received good service. The service you got was based on what you were willing to pay for it. With that said, read on:


1. CHILDREN "THE LITTLE BASTARDS":
First off, try to be aware of the ratio of adults to children. Two, MAYBE three kids to one kid is fine, but when you have a table of one adult and six children? Well, it's usually a disaster waiting to happen. Also, please DO NOT let them open and dump shit on the table (ie; salt, sugar, etc). IF YOU DO, you must leave an extra $5 for the server to clean up YOUR child's mess and to re-stock the now unusable wasted items. We are neither their babysitter nor their parent. The least you can do is pay us for the extra work. Also make sure you control your kids and don't let them scream or run around the restraunt. It's very distracting, annoying, and not to mention dangerous if they get ran over by a server with hot food in their hands. Fair warning.

2. "THE CAMPERS":
If you feel the necessity to stay for longer than 15 minutes after you pay, its an extra $3 every 30 minutes. We make our money from the tables. If you are in one and we can't seat it, we don't make money. It's that simple.

3. COMPLIMENTS:
Telling a server they are the best server they've ever had is not a tip. If we are good, let us know by leaving us more money. We cant pay our bills on compliments. It's not that we don't appreciate the praise (we really do), its that it's not an excuse for leaving a 10% tip.

4. THE SALVATION PAMPHLETS:
Prayer cards or some other religious pamphlet is NOT a tip. First off, it is insulting that you assume we are devoid of religion and have a need to be saved by someone like you. Again, just like compliments, we can't pay our bills w/ prayer cards. The reason most of us aren't in church is because so many of you give us that lovely lunch rush on Sundays.

5. TIPPING:
Who the hell ever started telling people that 10% was a normal tip? It's a shitty tip. Leave the 10% tip to the rude, unpleasant bitch at Denny's who took 45 min. to refill your coffee. It is not 1960. Cost of living has gone up dramatically since then. 18% is the MINIMUM amount of what you should be tipping your servers (unless, of course, they are truly awful). But just look at the tax line and multiply by 2 or 3. This gives you your minimum tip amount. Remember, our companies pay us minimum wage for tipped employees, which is $3.13 in FL, $3.09 in IA, $2.38 in MD & $2.13 in TX). Also, you must tip on the TOTAL amount, including tax. This is because we have to tip-out according to OUR TOTAL sales (which INCLUDES tax). We give a portion to the bussers, the bartenders, and the expediter in the kitchen. We tip-out on tax, so YOU tip on tax as well.

6. THE COMPLAINERS:
If you get a discount because your food was prepared wrong or something, do not take it out of our tip. We didn't cook it. That wasn't our job. The cooks get paid hourly regardless if the food sucks. However, we only make what you give us. We're there to get your drinks, take your order, bring your food, and be attentive to your eating needs, ONLY. Keep that in mind.

7. THE FREE STUFF:
If you happen to get anything for free and you did not have a problem with your dining experience, most of the time it is because the server thinks you will realize that they are giving it to you for free. There should be a little extra tip thanking the server for the free item. They could get in a lot of trouble giving away free stuff. You should give them hazard pay for it.

8. THE LATE ONES:
First, we'd prefer you to to be respectful enough to come in no later than thirty minutes to closing time. Remember, we can't just clock out and leave as soon as you've finished paying your bill. But if you must come 10 mins before closing or any time near closing, hurry the fuck up, order your food, and get out. Closed means closed, not social hour. It's incredibly rude to sit there and take your sweet-ass time. You should take a hint when the only people you see in the restaurant are employees. We can't leave until you leave because we have to do our sidework, roll our silverware in most cases, and clean the table you're sitting at. We don't want to stand there waiting for you for an extra hour just because you don't want to go home. We recommend a 24-hour establishment if you wish to sit into the wee hours of the night.

9. THE TABLE HOGGERS:
This is a slight variation of the "campers." If you only come in for coffee/dessert, to do paper work, or to have a meeting, don't sit there taking up our tables for hours. We're not a coffee shop, or a small, local diner. If you want to sit for hours with your cheesecake or your business associates whom you think are your friends, do it in a different setting, or compensate us in the tip.

10. THE GREET:
When we come up to the table to greet you and ask how you are doing, simply do the kind thing and let us know, and be honest. Why not? If you're havin' a shitty day, tell us from the beginning and maybe we'll be a little more helpful and/or sympathetic. But any reply will usually do. A confused stare, or complete silence does not suffice as a reply to "How are you doing?". Also, most of us are REQUIRED to say certain things during the greeting, so please don't interrupt our greeting to say "Sweet tea", "Can we get some bread?", or "What are the soups?"

11. THOSE DAMN CELL PHONES:
Don't ever be on your cell phone when we come up to greet and/or take your drink or food order. God, that's rude. And if you MUST talk during your meal, keep your voice down out of respect for other guests. No one wants to hear some loudmouthed malcontent, yelling at someone on the other line, making people around him stare, and making his server feel akward. And no one cares how well your presentation, your TPS report went, or how your stocks, bonds, and mutual funds are doing. If you want to impress people, do it with your TIP. If you're on your cell phone when we walk up to the table, we're just going to talk and keep talking to you as if you have our full, undivided attention. If you didn't hear us ask if you wanted cheese on your burger, tough shit. Get off the fuckin' cell phone next time. Just please show some respect and give us your attention for a couple of minutes.

12. TO-GO:
Always remember to tip the take-out order servers! They work just as hard as a server, and hardly ever get tips for it! WE DESERVE TO BE TIPPED TOO!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!SERVERS READING THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Please repost this so the word can get out, since so many people are uneducated about how our lives rest on these tips! atleast for now......

SIGNED, YOUR FELLOW RESTAURANT (and former restaurant) WORKERS